What matters to you in life and work? What are the things that you care about and that make you happy? These are your values. They are like your inner compass that guides your decisions and actions. Values can be different for everyone. For example, some people value honesty, kindness, creativity, or fun. Others value justice, equality, freedom, or respect.
Knowing your values is essential for living a great and authentic life. When you know your values, you can:
- Do things that match your values and feel good about yourself
- Choose things that make you happy and excited
- Say what you think and feel without being afraid
- Connect with people who understand you and share your values
- Follow your passions and dreams with energy and dedication
- Find meaning and purpose in your life and work
But knowing your values is not always easy. Sometimes, you may face situations where your values don’t fit or are challenged resulting in you feeling stuck. For example, you may:
- Meet people or situations that have different or opposite values from yours
- Have to choose between two or more values that are important to you
- Go through changes or transitions that affect your values or priorities
- Feel confused or unsure about what your values are or how to show them
When your values don’t fit, or a situation requires you to behave in a manner that is not true your values, you feel conflicted. This may cause you to feel stressed, anxious, guilty, confused, or unhappy. Therefore, it’s important to learn how to deal with dilemmas in a positive way.
Here are some steps that can help you deal with conflicts to your values:
- Identify the source of the conflict: What are the values that don’t fit or clash? Why are they important to you? How did they come into your life? Are they influenced by your culture, family, religion, education, or experience?
- Evaluate the consequences of each option: What are the pros and cons of each option? How will each option affect your happiness and well-being? How will each option affect others and the world?
- Seek alternative solutions: Is there a way to make both or all of your values happy without giving up any of them? Is there a way to balance or prioritize your values in a fair and reasonable way? Is there a way to create a win-win situation for yourself and others?
- Seek feedback and support: Who can you talk to about your dilemma? Who can give you a different point of view or insight? Who can help you cope with the emotional stress of the conflict? Who can support you in taking action?
- Make a decision and act on it: Based on your analysis and consultation, what is the best option for you? What is the most in line with your values and well-being? What is the most likely to make you feel good and happy? Once you make a decision, go for it with courage and confidence.
- Review and learn from the outcome: How did your decision turn out? Did it meet your expectations? Did it solve or reduce the conflict? What did you learn from the experience? How can you use what you learned for future situations?
These steps can help you deal with conflicts to your values in a positive way and grow as a person. But sometimes you may need more help and support to figure out these tricky issues. This is where coaching can help.
Coaching is a process of helping you discover and achieve your personal and professional goals. A coach is someone who listens to you, asks thought provoking questions, challenges you, supports you, and keeps you on track. A coach can help you:
- Clarify your values and how they relate to your goals
- Identify and overcome any barriers or obstacles that stop you from living according to your values
- Explore different options and points of view that match your values
- Help you make an action plan that shows your values and moves you towards your goals
- Check your progress and celebrate your wins
Coaching can help you know what matters to you and deal with dilemmas in a positive way. By working with a coach, you can:
- Increase your self-awareness and confidence
- Boost your motivation and commitment
- Improve your performance and productivity
- Strengthen your relationships and communication
- Achieve more happiness and satisfaction
If you’re interested in coaching, or want to learn more about how coaching can help you understand what matters most to in your life and work, and explore how you can live according to your values, please contact me through my website at kathrynfoxcoaching.com.